3 limericks & a pastiche

On an ancient medical writer with a funny name

The worthy physician Soranus
Sought cures for conditions that pain us.
So what a bum rap
For that medical chap
That his sore-name should so entertain us.

 

On hearing Caius mispronounced

The Gardening Fellow of Caius                            [‘keys’]
Went mad in a bid to be peas:                               [pious]
He joined the Greens
And ate nothing but beans,
Saying ‘these things are just sent to trees.’         [try us]

 

On the Vicar of Haddenham (formerly Chaplain of Jesus College Oxford)

The good-natured Vicar of Haddenham
Loves people and never sees bad in ’em.
But the harder she tries
To see things through their eyes
The more her good offices madden ’em.

 

 

A Betjeman pastiche

[In celebration of the arrival of an attractive Fellow, here named by the pseudonym Claudia Gest, in the Jesus SCR]

The Senior Common Room’s on the alert
For Claudia’s here in a short leather skirt.
The Fellows are doing their studious best
Not to stare at you, glare at you, Claudia Gest.

Claudia Gest, oh Claudia Gest,
The sway of her hips and the curve of her breast!
How truly our venerable College is blessed
By the beautiful, dutiful Claudia Gest.

The Tutor in Classics and Reader in Law
Have politely averted their eyes to the floor.
They are keen not to seem in the least bit obsessed.
They are weak from your loveliness, Claudia Gest!

Claudia Gest, oh Claudia Gest,
How truly, how greatly our College is blessed.
Exquisite wisteria blooms in the quad:
Its beauty attests to the glory of God!

 

About Armand D'Angour

Fellow and Tutor in Classics, Jesus College Oxford.
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